In The Poetry

I don’t speak English. I don’t even speak the French I was taught. Shoes aren’t les chaussures here. They’re les goddesses, l’eau is la flotte, le vin is le pinard. My head is inside out; English used to be in deep and French outside. I’ve stopped translating. I don’t think ‘let’s go’ and turn it [...]

And now, some limericks.

Three Limericks…

A young man with wobbly eyes
used to muddle his g’s and his y’s.
When he said ‘guess’
I guess he meant ‘yes’
and ‘yugs’ was how he said ‘guys’.

There was a young man with a pimple
who said everything in life is simple.
For weeks and weeks
he sucked in his cheeks
and now his pimple’s a dimple.

There [...]

The News

Here is The News:
‘Two incredible shoes.
Two incredible shoes.
That’s The News.

When it rains
they walk down drains.

They glow
in the snow.

They grizzle
in a drizzle.

They sneeze
in a breeze.

They get warm
in a storm.

They go soggy
when it’s foggy.

They’ve even hissed
in a mist.

But
(sad to say)
there came a terrible frost.
This is what happened:
they got lost.’

That was The News.
Two incredible shoes.
Two incredible shoes.
That [...]

My Friend Elsie

My Friend Elsie
got very hot.
My friend Elsie
got a big spot.

My friend Elsie
started to drink.
My friend Elsie
started to stink.

My friend Elsie
went all red.
My friend Elsie
went to bed.

My friend Elsie
had to stay in.
My friend Elsie
got very thin.

My friend Elsie
in the midnight hour.
My friend Elsie
turned into a flower.

My friend Elsie
smells so sweet.
My friend Elsie
has lost her [...]

I ran away from home. I said, I’m going on the Aldermaston March to ban the bomb. They said that this was out of the question, the boy’s mad. Crazy. My mother said, Where will you stay? You’d have nothing to eat, you don’t know anyone, what would you eat? You’re not going. Harold, say [...]

The Great Big Hole

Look at the road!
Look at the road!
Right in the middle
is a great big hole.

What shall we do?
What shall we do
when we get close
to the great big hole?

I walk round,
I walk round
right round the edge
of the great big hole.

But you fall in,
you fall in.
You disappear
in the great big hole.

Now there’s me!
Now there’s me!
Just [...]

Watching television cowboys was how they learned to gallop; peeoo peeoo (that was the gun) and they smacked their bums (the horse’s back). We had the wireless: And now for our serial: ‘The Eagle of the Ninth.’ It was the end of the Empire. Hundreds of Roman soldiers had headed north and disappeared. I ran [...]

Yesterday

The day before yesterday
I think I’ll go to school.
I think I’l take a walk
in the local swimming pool.

The T.V.’s broken
so I think I’ll watch the News.
I’ll be going out barefoot
in my sister’s shoes.

I don’t like her
so I call her my friend.
When I leave
I’ll start at the end.